rules to dating a browngirl…

While I am NO expert on dating, I’ve done it a lot. Date that is. I have read countless Cosmo and Essence articles on how to snag Mr. Right, watched many a drama unfold on Maury and Court TV, listened to many in salon horror stories and most recently I read Steve Harvey’s Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man. I feel like the more experience I get the more knowledge I accumulate on the subject. Although I can’t speak for all women, I am going to share this work in progress based on my experiences and the above mentioned. These points are subject to change, expand, and/or be removed. There are rules when you want to date a brown girl like me:

1. Be a man. (Must cover the basics, then we can get to the juice.)
2. Don’t approach me with “Shawty/Shorty” (depends on your region), “Ma”, or “Bay”, or “How bout them digits” Again, it’s early in the list and these tips aren’t for everybody, and I am just getting started. First impressions are everything. If it’s a classy yet down to earth woman that you are looking for- approach her that way.
3. Don’t be afraid to use your words and articulate (expressing oneself readily, clearly, or effectively). Don’t use so much slang and colloquialisms that we cant follow what your saying or asking
4. Don’t approach us if you are married. “Separated” is still married! Ask your wife, I think she will agree.
5. If you live with a woman who is not a blood relative- that’s going to be a problem. We don’t know or care for you enough yet to deal with anything extra.
6. Don’t lie to me.
7. Don’t be a pushover.
8. Be a Strong negotiator.
9. Nurture our relationship.
10. Make sure we have fun.
11. Communicate well and clearly.
12. Must love God. Really this should have been #1.
13. Know that if you meet my mother, you are my man. So if you don’t want to be, then don’t ask to meet her.
14. If you are interested then ask me out. I am old school, and enjoy being pursued by a man. The man for me, will appreciate my Southern upbringing.
15. I am not a last minute time filler. My time is important, so dates should be planned in advance and well thought out. Of course, this will vary once we are in a committed relationship.
16. Always open my door. As my man, my buddy, or any man. Please. Thank you.
17. On a first date, I don’t expect to go half. Do you want to be my buddy or my man.
18. When we start to discuss last relationships and exes, please don’t refer to them as anything other than their names, because they weren’t those names when you all were &$#@&^#*%$@&%$!!0 (fill in the blank!)
19. If I can’t go to your house, then you can’t come to mine.
20. Respect me. Respect our relationship. Respect the decisions we make. Respect US.