What are you doing in a relationship? Are you giving what you expect? Amazingly enough, a girlfriend of mine called to give me the run down on a new guy she’d met and I knew it would be insightful for my next blog. Read More

This morning on Atlanta’s Top Radio Station V-103, the conversation is ABC’s 42% of Black Women never being married. (That we discussed last week). The morning host Frank Ski, has a panel of women in the studio to discuss why they are single, if they are lowering standards to meet the right guy, and expectations.

As I watch the streaming live and read the chat comments on the right, I am instantly entertained and saddened. Immediately I notice a male disrespecting the women in the studio. One guy implies that one of them looks like a bird, another is fat, and that none of them look professional. I wonder if he is even sure what the topic is- because he later types- why didn’t they have any women in there who have been married and who have been through some stuff??? (Clearly because the topic is the percentage of women who have not been married) Read More

This number is double the number of white women that have never been married according to the ABC special. One question posed was if, women’s standards were too high, or if the pickings were to slim.

The special suggests that there are 1.8 million more black women than black men. Read More and watch Clip

I was debating whether or not to share my dream, but it was so real. Full of crap, but real. I must preface by saying that I usually dream of my relatives who are deceased, about me being honored or something really scary.  But last night was totally different.

I was dating Diddy, along with two other women and it was not a secret. Read More

As I eavesdropped on a group of seemingly sophisticated ladies, I wondered if there was one honest one in the bunch. They encouraged each other to continue holding on to their unrealistic guidelines for a man.

The demands seemed high, yet the willingness to meet even half way wasn’t there. One woman stated “his credit score better be at least 700,” and before she finished her statement she was speaking of not one but two overdue bills. Another who was average in her style commented that her man had to be “fly”.

I wanted to be someone with guts and a fly mouth for just 5 minutes so I could inform the group of independents that I indeed was listening and to ask each if she possessed that quality that she was looking for. Read More

Dating on the internet was once a taboo subject. It was thought to be unsafe by many and desperate by the rest. But as technology advances and the social scenes mirror the previous Saturday night, people are beginning to rely on the 21^st century matchmakers.

Their names are Read More

thought thursday…

A twitter alert I received moments ago from Ryan Cameron asked if any of his listeners were Retrosexual. I tuned into V-103 to listen to the callers responses.

Retrosexual is explained as a person who reaches into their past to reconnect with an old flame and then starts a romantic relationship again. I guess I am Retrosexual, because I have been known to re date someone from the past. Read More

wtf friday…

Not trusting your spouse is one thing. But to sign up for a service that will alter the number that is displayed to the person your calling is ridiculous. To go further, with this digital spyware service you can change your voice, you can record a call, you can send a text, and have the call sent to your email.

Let me rewind and say that I cannot knock this young man and his entrepreneurial mind. Read More

thought thursday…

In a recent conversation a woman was sharing a story of how she’d purchased a gift for her then boyfriend. She was waiting on the right time which became not the time at all to give him the surprise.

They soon broke up and she decided to keep the gift, not being able to return it because she’d lost the receipt. Entering in a new relationship, she told me that she really liked the new guy, who happened to have a birthday approaching.

They were going to be dating about 6 months when his birthday rolled around, and she asked me if she could give him the gift she’d bought for her ex? Read More

thought thursday…

When we were 9 and 10 years old it didn’t matter what sex your best friend was. It was the person who lived closest to you, the person who was outside at the same time you were allowed out, or the person who had the same metal strawberry shortcake lunch box as you.

 As we get older, we aren’t playing outside as much. Our best friend becomes a person who is available to go to the bar when you need a drink. They are single at the same times you are.

 You are there to accompany each other to dreaded family events, or obligatory work functions. They are people we count on to help us process why he didn’t ask for our number, or why she didn’t return the phone call. They are a shoulder to lean on.

 But when one of the two gets into a relationship, Read More

i’m just saying…

Why are people still making a big deal about Keyshia Cole’s latest tattoo.  Women are calling her names, and men are saying she is sprung on the young b baller to get his name tattooed on her body.

I feel the complete opposite.

I am certain that everyone expresses their love in a variety of ways.  In some countries- beating women is thought to be an example of love and dedication!  I think Keyshia is a girl who loves tattoo’s as a way of expressing herself. Whereas some women cook and clean, or purchase a man clothes, or even buying him expensive gifts.

That’s was her thing, her expression to her man. The b baller, has his own money so he doesn’t need any assistance on his t-mobile phone bill this month. He has a chef, so you can keep your mama’s secret cornbread recipe.

She is not the first woman to do what other women don’t like to keep her man.  If it doesn’t work out, she can get it covered…I’m just saying…

te*na*cious tuesday…

As I pass by BET, they are running a commercial for apparently everyone’s new favorite reality show except mine, Tiny and Toya. I catch a glimpse of Tiny wiping away her tears, friends encouraging her on her first night alone, and a plane lifting off- leaving us to assume that her long term boyfriend is off to serve his year and a day jail sentence. In a flash it creates a spiral of thoughts, however most of them incomplete. I end up at am I, or are most women, tried and true, relentless, loyal and as some say “ride or die”, as we proclaim to be during the “convince a man to date us stage.” I have to admit, that I did tune in to watch the highly anticipated episode to see T.I. off to prison, although it was actually covered months ago in the media. But before the credits role, there is a note from her to him, that says 3 things:

1. He is a good man- despite the consequences on his action that will temporarily keep them apart.
2. That he is the love of her life- assuring him that she loves who he is as a man, not the fair weathered groupie love a rapper receives and, Read More

scared to call this wtf friday…

Okay, I have been wondering if this was the right thing to post or not. Toying with it for a few days and I wasn’t sure how it would make me look. But as a wise woman told me, you have to be yourself at all times, don’t hide behind popular demand. It is my blog. I love the people who choose to read and especially those entertained enough to leave a comment.

I hope you take this question to heart and reply with your insight.  Here goes… I, first off let me say Read More

Black Love, originally uploaded by pinkafterglow.

Hoping to post the next link in my relationship chain, I toyed with the direction of my blog as well as the next character I would introduce and disclose. I googled dating, and I receive invitations that would offer free profile building throughout the holiday. Then I tried rules of dating, wondering how far down “He’s Just Not That into You” would be listed.

And eventually I began a search for dating Black Women (being one, not interested in them- must be clear at all times!). I’m not even sure what I was hoping to find but I came across a title as I skimmed the results that was interesting. The author wrote “The Top Ten Reasons Why It’s Hard to Date a Black Woman” by one Matthew Lynch. “Oh…” I thought.

Not only are there a few reasons, but there are enough reason to warrant a top ten. And my daddy said you don’t want anything that’s too easy.

As I wait on the full content to load- I am anxiously reading a disclaimer across the top assuring me that the view of opinion submitted in the article do not necessarily reflect the views of the website it is viewable on. Intuition says I am going to be offended. The article reads-Unlike black women who struggle against the current of the apparent man shortage, searching for eligible candidates is not an arduous task for black men, and never has been (I chuckle, can’t argue with that). Read More

Stupid girls, originally uploaded by Ms. Palindrome.

To avoid appearing self indulgent, I wanted to share stories of people that I know and/or heard of, and the various situations they encountered during my relationship struggles that made me feel as if my drama was never quite “that” bad. Honestly it’s these stories that keep women, and some men in trouble. We feel that the stories we are listening too over our self implemented- extended lunch breaks, are mountains compared to our molehills. When we should wonder who is listening to our story feeling like our drama is worse than theirs, and rejoice they don’t have to walk in our shoes… Read More