Father’s Day is always a bitter sweet day for me for a couple of reasons, but let me recap for you for just a minute. My dad was a great man. My parents were married for 28 years and the only thing that broke the bond was his death to cancer in 1995. So I appreciated my parents for showing me what a healthy relationship was. We never saw them have a serious fight and we had plenty of family time and vacation.
My foundation for how I should be treated as a woman was set in stone by my father. From walking closest to the street when I was a little girl, to making sure I could check the fluids in my car but always doing it for me. I remember going to work in high school and my dad would go out and start my car, to let it warm up when it was cold, so I wouldn’t have to. (I wish we were more adamant about taking pics back then, but we weren’t- maybe why I take so many of ppl now!)
He would take my friends home after band practice, he polished my drill team boots before each Friday night football game, and he would play whatever game I wanted to, if only for a little while. I never felt mislead or un- trusting of my fathers actions towards me, or my family. He was a good man and super funny! I love that both my parent made time to come to all my performances, concerts and recitals.
So seventeen years after losing my father, his memory and love lives in my heart. The last time I saw my dad alive was on Father’s Day, so that still stings a little bit. I left home to start a pre- college program at Georgia Southern, and I got a call two weeks later, June 30 telling me that my father had passed. It took me awhile to get to a good place, but just like anyone, I have my moments. I try to find comfort in his memory and all of the great stories that I could share about him, sometimes its a breeze and sometimes I can’t keep my eyes dry. It helps that friends who knew my father, call and say, alright. What’s up. You good. We need to have drinks, or movies— just ready to comfort me. I appreciate that so much- because you never know how it feels until you have lost someone close. (and truly we never know how each other feels, we can only imagine). So thanks to the crew for always taking that time to check on me.
My dad made up crazy words, swearing it was Spanish. I asked him once why Michael Jackson never came to the U.S. and stood in the middle of all his fans the way they showed him doing so in China or somewhere. My dad said, “because ya’ll nukkas would be trying to still his jewelry!” Hilarious!
I remember falling asleep trying to stay up with him watching GLOW (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling)! **I think I just told my age. But it was a great life. I hope that all of you that have a father here, are celebrating them today. When they are gone, it will be too late. The relationship between a father and daughter is a coveted one,. if you have daughters treat her special. Don’t leave a void for some little boy to fill.
I measure my life’s disappointments as 10 being the highest and an example of a ten is losing my father. So anything else that comes my way- losing a job, a relationship, etc.. I ask myself where this falls on that scale. Is this a 10, like losing dad? Heck no. It allows me to put things into perspective and to move on a little quicker from some of life’s minor setbacks.
My dad had a great smile and one of those good laughs that makes you laugh. He was super cool!!! I remember begging him not to show my first date a gun as a way to further get his point across about my curfew and getting me home, exactly the way I left. I remember when he finally caught on that I would ask his permission only after my mom had already told me no. He taught me alot. I miss him. I would love to discuss more things with him about love and dating, and finances (because my mother is a shopper!). His advice would be greatly appreciated and just to talk to him.. That’s what I miss. Talking, his hugs,.. and that laugh. I love you Dad, continue to Rest In Peace…
Peace be with you!