Quite often I get emails from readers asking for my opinion on a number of situations or scenarios, and I don’t always know what to say, because I don’t know the people involved. This particular letter stood out to me because it was from a Caucasian male reader, and that is rather atypical. He needs help with a love situation involving a browngirl.
Read it, then share your thoughts in the comments section. My comment will be there as well.
The letter:
Love your blog! I am a white male graduate of MBA at (Insert HBCU). I too am old fashioned. I happen to like brown girls and agree with dating rules (found on my site). Many women of color are attracted to me because I treat them with respect and act as a gentleman (so they say). They claim I am different.
My dilemma is this: I have a friend, brown southern lady (38) with whom I became quite friendly. She worked with me, we exchanged videos and hers were love videos- Mariah Carey, R. Kelly, and Kelly Clarkston. We shared some difficult times together as well as her serious health issues. When I was not at work she said she would go into my office and stare at my picture; her friends said she loved me.
Then she moved to TN. We still corresponded; in Sept. of this year, I had a serious operation; I asked her to send a smiling photo to give me strength; she sent ones everyday for 2 weeks; I went to bed with her under my pillow ( We are both married now)the pics were very sexy. I told her my feelings of her many months before and had written her poems. Then I backed away until now. The last pictures she sent me in the hospital were of her “relaxing” nude on her bed just before sleep. I have never had a woman send me naked pictures before. She knows I fell in love with her and I told her such and that she was so beautiful she should be a model.
She truly is beautiful and also a genuine precious person. Like a jewel to be cherished. After she sent the pics I finally told her that I never had wanted sex, but now that I had seen her, even better than I thought, I wanted her and just wanted to be close, hold her and then make long passionate love (not just sex like most men desired of her) I loved the whole person.
So, after all this, I am asking what is she saying? Why did she get bold and send the nude pics? Does she love me too? We probably will not meet again, yet we continue to share like lovers? At present, we are not communicating because her husband is now monitoring her email!!! She said he does not approve of her communicating with me! Can you tell me how to handle? I can’t get her off my mind or forget. I dream of her, see her when I close my eyes and think about her all day. If I stare at any of her pics, I go crazy.
****Oh yes, names, artist, schools and states have all been changed…
WOW! That’s deep! Sounds like they’re both with the wrong person because they should be together. Must be true love because they’ve never even gone that far before now! I think she was trying to tell him something!
You should just delete and block her number and emails, not to be mean or angry with her, but for your sake sometimes we have to let people go in our life. She has started a new chapter in her life and she has you lingering and waiting, thats not far to you or her husband. She is seeking attention because she’s not getting it from home, so she seeks you because there’s history there and you make her feel beautiful and loved all those things she may not be getting from home. Just let it fade away take time to heal and if its meant to be her love will find its way back to you.
Letter sounds sweet but they are married! If it’s really love and being as though you are already emotionally cheating on your spouse, why not get a divorce and be with the woman that you actually dream about and hold dear to your heart? Find out what it is that you really want because trying to contact her knowing she is married is wrong. Hiding her picture under your pillow next to your wife is wrong. Two wrongs will not make it right!