Fast forward several years, and my Uptown boy is standing in front of me, eye to eye (not really –because he seems so much taller than I remember). If you recall, our separation was primarily because he’d moved away and a few other reasons. Once our arms were locked around each other an all too familiar feeling of comfort, trust, and love overwhelmed me.
I always felt like no matter how senseless my ideas were, or how much I pushed him away, he continued to love me. And for that I continued to love him. I was a person who seldom realized what I had until it was gone, and although I knew he was a great guy- I would always let my past dictate my future. Anywho, the details of me carrying my baggage from one relationship to another would take ten blogs.
Back to the story, he had about a week in town and we spent most of his nights together, because I was working during the day. We ate dinner, saw movies, watched sports, laughed, embraced, and kissed the way we did many years ago. It was almost as if time had passed but our feelings, vibe, and compatibility had not.
As he prepared to leave, I have to admit I didn’t want to see him go. Aside from my father passing, it was probably the hardest goodbye I’d experienced in my life. It made me wonder if I could be in a long distance relationship and if he thought I was worth it as well.
Unfortunately, he didn’t share those feelings. I almost felt silly for even considering such. I was quite embarrassed, if I can be honest. I have to say every now and then I have a relationship moment of rejection that makes me thankful I am not a man. A sense of reality of the hurt men must feel being shot down over and over again is something I couldn’t get used too. That’s why they resort to name calling when they are turned down. They are fed up and overwhelmed! LOL..
I did realize at that moment that the feelings I had for my Uptown boy, should be the way I feel about my mate. I should have a great time with him always and I should believe that we can make a relationship work 1,000 miles apart.
I will say this ….. The story is a great one for the simple reason that there is real love involved. Not love that scripted but love that’s true enough to stand the test of time and yes distance. I say time & distance because for it to come back to you years later and it feel the same as it did before is a testament of it’s strength. When you get to a certain part in your life as an individual you want some things just to be the way that you like them…. and you just have to say it is what it is. I would have to agree with you that being a guy nowadays is hard as hell because not only do we have to deal with the constant rejection , but we also have to deal with the heart ache that women deal with when a relationship goes sour. I’ll give you a little insight into the minds of most men…. beneath those thoughts you guys always talk about….. Oh he think he just gonna get some… Or he just looking at my butt….. are true feelings, desires, and hopes that we can make that women feel happy , safe , and loved!!!!!!! Of course this only pertains to REAL MEN….. Understand that God made us to care and provide for you in anyway possible… so when youre rejected a chance at fulfilling that dream is taken away. This Uptown Boy has and will always love his Down South Dime…. THINK BIG