What are you doing in a relationship? Are you giving what you expect? Amazingly enough, a girlfriend of mine called to give me the run down on a new guy she’d met and I knew it would be insightful for my next blog. She’d met a guy with whom she had great conversations and who seemed to be headed down the right path.
She told me that she was less than pleased with his appearance because she just wasn’t attracted to him. We discussed a proper way to inform him that she would not be interested in pursuing a relationship with him. A funny thing happened next. She said she was getting her car serviced and told the guy about it.
He quickly concluded his conversation informing her to go ahead and handle her business and get back with him later. Well, I asked my girl, if she thought realistically that he should have offered her any money on her car repairs. Her answer was yes. Because he wasn’t that good looking and that he had to do a little extra. (WOW)…
Well I told her he had probably been doing that all of his life, paying girls now women, and surely has had enough at this point in his life, and especially after a first date. I asked her if she would be prepared to give anything back for that cash installment she had hoped for. (Reality)
How the mind is taught and programmed is boggling. I asked her if the recession meant anything. Even if a guy used to be able to give a woman money without any commitment on her part, that day is long gone. Why should a guy that your not involved with have to pitch in on your needs?
I dare say that the same woman would refuse to cook this same guy a meal. (Especially before he was asked for any money, and definitely not after he declined to share his wealth).
We have to go into relationships with open hearts and minds. Be clear in your expectations. Stop trying to get the milk before you buy the cow (for both sexes). Get to know the person, let them learn what is important to you, and you learn what’s important to them. Grow together. Support each other. Lean on one another.
