I was debating whether or not to share my dream, but it was so real. Full of crap, but real. I must preface by saying that I usually dream of my relatives who are deceased, about me being honored or something really scary. But last night was totally different.
I was dating Diddy, along with two other women and it was not a secret. I felt as if I was in a real, untelevised version on “for the Love of Ray J. We went to a club, here in Atlanta, and to my surprise a couple of my exes were in the building. I spoke, hugged and maybe even danced with one, then returned to a mingling Diddy’s side.
As we rode home, me in the passenger seat, and him driving, he questioned my behavior with my past. He told me that he didn’t care for our interactions (my exes and I), and that we didn’t look like people who were over each other. He expressed not wanting to get hurt because he was indeed falling for me, and wished that the “present situation” could be over because he’d already chosen me (I know, this is a trip).
But if you could have heard me defending my friendly actions, and asking him to trust me that my feelings were now in his hands, you would have thought that it was a scene from the Young and the Restless. I can almost say that music was playing in the background and everything.
The dream, and my new crush on Diddy, led me to consider my new and old relationships. Am I being respectful of my new one, when I run into the old? Is my new man comfortable with me hugging an ex beau, or does he resent me for it? Am I okay with him hugging and smiley stupidly when he sees one of his exes? Or do I understand it could be the uncomfortable situation, him hoping I’m not taking his actions the wrong way that has him slightly thrown off his game?
I know my goal, although I feel like I would greet and hug all of my exes, I never would want to make it uncomfortable with my new boo. I would never want him to feel disrespected or that I still had feelings stirring up at the sight of them.
** And he better make sure I am comfortable as well, because I can be a beast! LOL… I’m just serious…
