thought thursday…
When we were 9 and 10 years old it didn’t matter what sex your best friend was. It was the person who lived closest to you, the person who was outside at the same time you were allowed out, or the person who had the same metal strawberry shortcake lunch box as you.
As we get older, we aren’t playing outside as much. Our best friend becomes a person who is available to go to the bar when you need a drink. They are single at the same times you are.
You are there to accompany each other to dreaded family events, or obligatory work functions. They are people we count on to help us process why he didn’t ask for our number, or why she didn’t return the phone call. They are a shoulder to lean on.
But when one of the two gets into a relationship, things seem to change. Even with girlfriends- we tend to neglect each other when a new beau enters the scene, but each of us knows, that most of the time the friendship will regain its strength when the relationship dwindles. Sad but commonly true.
However, with adult opposite sex best friends, the new individuals aren’t as secure with the situation. They don’t know the extent of this couple- like situation. Wondering if the relationship is genuine and overwhelmed with true intentions of the BFF’s. It seems to put a strain on the new relationship causing unnecessary concern.
In 2 movies, that I can think of immediately- Made of Honor (starring Patrick Dempsey) and a more popular Brown Sugar (with one Miss Sanaa Lathan and the ooh so sexy and married Boris Kodjoe), both times the best friend gets the girl.
But is this anyone’s reality? In the real life situations that I can attest to- it’s always the bad ass, better late than never, 3 baby mama’s deep ex, that comes back for the girl. Or the trifling, now that you’ve made it, I need help on my rent female ex that woos his little heart.
This is a touchy subject because everyone involved feels strongly in their convictions. No one should have to compete, and if you were friends before the relationship then it is what it is.
Each party should mentally stand in everyone else’s shoes and act accordingly. Treat the situation, how you would want it to go. Everyone one should remember they each play whatever role their playing for a reason.
No one should go switching up the game. If you’re always the shoe in Monopoly, then continue to be the shoe.
Trust the situation for what it is.
Do your part to make sure it isn’t any confusion between members. Make sure your not neglecting either party. Your man or woman should always have time for their friends and so should you.
Opposite sex best friends are always a tricky situation. There will always be that thought in the back of your head saying “Best friends my ass! They done slept together, or they want to.” You have to be secure in your relationship and there should be good communication in order to ease those thoughts. My message to the weary new mate is this: Remember its a reason that they are best friend and not in a relationship–don’t fret over a problem that doesn’t exist.
agreed!
This can work for some
Nice site and great text.