te*na*cious tuesday…
As I pass by BET, they are running a commercial for apparently everyone’s new favorite reality show except mine, Tiny and Toya. I catch a glimpse of Tiny wiping away her tears, friends encouraging her on her first night alone, and a plane lifting off- leaving us to assume that her long term boyfriend is off to serve his year and a day jail sentence. In a flash it creates a spiral of thoughts, however most of them incomplete. I end up at am I, or are most women, tried and true, relentless, loyal and as some say “ride or die”, as we proclaim to be during the “convince a man to date us stage.” I have to admit, that I did tune in to watch the highly anticipated episode to see T.I. off to prison, although it was actually covered months ago in the media. But before the credits role, there is a note from her to him, that says 3 things:
- He is a good man- despite the consequences on his action that will temporarily keep them apart.
- That he is the love of her life- assuring him that she loves who he is as a man, not the fair weathered groupie love a rapper receives and,
- That in a year and a day- she will still love him- showing her tenacity towards her relationship. Letting him know, of all his worries while away, her leaving is not one of them. 99 problems if you will.
The entire situation, the endurance, not the incidents reminds me of the depiction of Bea (Beatrice), Ray Charles’ wife in the movie Ray. She was tried and true. Whenever I have felt like I was really into a man- these are the things that go through my mind. If he had to go to Iraq or relocate due to a job, would I wait for my man to return home? That’s how you know if you have unconditional love for someone, isn’t it?
Don’t your actions speak louder than an early morning “I love you?” Some women would say, if he loved you, he wouldn’t expect you to put your life on hold while he is absent from your life. Would he put his on hold for you? Just how much are people willing to suffer and endure for each other, when they claim to be in love? To answer the question as best as I can (excluding a cheating scenario, because I’ve been there, done that)-When in love, I am in love. I don’t use the word lightly.
I know that if I am using the word love, that my man loves me too. I believe that his concern for my routine oil change, his eagerness to pray over every one of our meals, and his constant encouragement of whatever profession I am entertaining this week, are actions that speak volumes. I know that I love him, because when he has an attitude for no reason (or at least it seems that way), that I just pray he works it out in his man way, because he doesn’t want to share every single concern that may keep him up some nights.
Loving him means we work together. It’s not anything (legal) that he can’t ask me to do. Does, this make me tried and true? Definitely. And you can bet he knows it too. If he doesn’t, I need to work a little harder…
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