We have to know we deserve better…

Stupid girls, originally uploaded by Ms. Palindrome.

To avoid appearing self indulgent, I wanted to share stories of people that I know and/or heard of, and the various situations they encountered during my relationship struggles that made me feel as if my drama was never quite “that” bad. Honestly it’s these stories that keep women, and some men in trouble. We feel that the stories we are listening too over our self implemented- extended lunch breaks, are mountains compared to our molehills. When we should wonder who is listening to our story feeling like our drama is worse than theirs, and rejoice they don’t have to walk in our shoes…

So a friend, of a friend, of a friend’s cousin’s, sister, on her dad’s side (for the purpose of degree separation) was involved with her boyfriend, Mr. Disrespectful. He was the kind of little boy your mother warned against. He would insult her to break her confidence. He lied, cheated, and just about stole from her. There was one situation where he was arrested on a minor charge and needed to be bailed out of jail. After the bail was paid by the dedicated and aggressively determined to be with her man woman, Mr. Disrespectful walked out of the jail and straight into the car of another woman. She was floored to say the least.

But she stayed with him even after this situation, and 30 more similar to it had taken place. Now, please don’t take this for me sitting on a barstool swinging my 3” Nine West. I was the poster child for second chances for years. My disclaimer is that I was younger. I would like to think that I have learned from my mistakes, and at least am trying not to be a repeat offender. You don’t have to keep disrespecting me, or anyone I love for that matter, to get me to see the lipstick on the mirror. It leaves me to wonder why this seemingly smart, attractive girl, with a nice shape felt she deserved his blatant disrespect. How had he convinced her that she couldn’t live without him in her life? She had a great job with benefits, a loving mother and father, solid education, decent credit, and values. But somewhere during the course of her life, she lost herself.

She stopped believing in who she was and what she deserved. We have to realize that if we don’t love, respect, cherish, and honor ourselves- we can’t expect other too. It’s over rated to have a man in your life for the sake of having one. Months after the couple moved pass the situation of the hour, Mr. Disrespectful was off to a party and let’s just say the car ride was only the beginning…